why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
