then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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