Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
