real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
