Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
