You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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