If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
No I am not eating basil off your cock
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize