32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
