Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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