yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
