I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
