why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
This is my gift to your gina
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
