I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
