Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
