And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Alive.
So much puke
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
