i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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