I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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