is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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