he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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