i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The power of my boobs compel you
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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