Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
