I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
