Whats the glycemic index on semen?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
