After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
