She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
