This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize