I'm lost and stupid without you.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
organizing the empties. That sober.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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