I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
should my penis look like a turkey
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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