Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
