I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
