Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
