Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize