Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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