Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
