im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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