just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I want a musical about memes.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize