she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
