you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
God, I missed his penis.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize