I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
