i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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