I think I am morally bankrupt
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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