its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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