I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
