CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
