Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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