He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
