my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
