we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
