I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
