covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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