so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Holy shit dude........stairs
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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