i would punch a child for taco bell
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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