What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
