She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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