Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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