On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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