Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
