It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
