even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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