SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
