YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
