Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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