do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I woke up under a house in Key West
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