Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
