Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
