I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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