Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
