HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
