Barsexuality is the new black.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
