If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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