I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize