Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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