Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
