I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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