Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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