it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
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