I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
